i’ll get better at this

I’ll get better at blogging regularly, I promise.  I am completely OVER people talking about how busy they are, but MAN I HAVE BEEN BUSY.  Since my last post, I had a baby and moved to a different city.  It seems so neat and compact in that little sentence, but it has been a frenetic year.

In my last post I talked about how bulimia doesn’t just go away when you get pregnant.  It has, however, seriously declined (almost to nothing) since I had the baby.  I’ve had less than five (I can really only think of 2) instances of an issue, and they were a fraction of what they used to be.  I’m out of the weeds (I think), but have been thinking a lot about life– my eating disorder, drinking, etc.– lately.  There is still a long way to go (maybe this is just life? sigh).

Something I heard recently said you have to write from scars, not open wounds.  Maybe that makes sense.  If you’re trying to help someone through something, and you’re teetering on destruction yourself, it can be a codependent nightmare.  But there is great hope to be gained from words spoken from the battlefield.  Someone speaking from a place of THIS IS F-ING HARD.  I GET IT.  I’M IN IT WITH YOU.

The blogs I wrote over the past few years were from the battlefield.  Now I feel like it’s a little behind me.  And I’m trying to honor that place too.  Work through other issues going on in my skull.  Be a whole woman, wife and mom.  We are a work in progress.  We need people to lean on.  People around us to verify WE ARE NOT ALONE.  It’s so important.

My hope is you’ll stay tuned in this new era of she.chose.life.  One that is hopefully out of the weeds  of an eating disorder, but still in the thick of figuring out life.  Let’s figure out this crazy, sane, free, complicated, beautiful, brutal thing called life, together.


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