This past year has been a complete whirlwind. In May of last year, I started seeing someone whom I had dated a few separate times over the past 10 years and that I’ve known since I was 16. He’s a great guy, and while the timing never really worked for us before, it just clicked this time. When you know, you know.
After over a year together, we got engaged in May. I’m 33 and spending the rest of my life with someone is not something I’ve taken lightly nor have I wished my life away waiting for the person I’m going to marry. So, it’s even more ironic that he’s someone I’ve known for so long. Seth is a beautiful person. He doesn’t complete me, in that sappy, V-Day card writer lingo, but we complement one another in really sweet ways, and it’s a beautiful new chapter of my life.
Within days of getting engaged, we found out we’re having a baby. Holy crap.
So. We planned a wedding in less than 2 months and got married at the end of July. Whirl.wind.
Eating disorders don’t stop for you to celebrate life and the fun things that happen. You don’t find out you’re pregnant and suddenly stop having the urge to B/P. In fact, when it does happen, you feel like the most horrible person in the world. To everyone reading this that’s struggled with an eating disorder while pregnant (or not) — YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I’ve read through forums for pregnant women and when someone posts about being bulimic and pregnant, you would not believe the haters out there and the harsh language whipped out against the preggo mommies. Call me the opposite of an internet troll, because every part of me wanted to hug these vulnerable women when their posts are met with a “how could you do this to your baby??” comment.
We need to sit with people. Be with people in their confusion and pain. Life is hard. Glossing over the bad parts doesn’t make them go away. We can’t always fix people, but we can let them know they’re not alone.
It’s been a crazy year. But one full of life-giving change. And full of hope.