I can’t believe it’s been over a year since I’ve started this blog. On one hand, it’s a little depressing. Because I’m not out of the weeds. I thought blogging about my struggle would give me some accountability and would help deter purging. But let’s be honest, the concept of an “accountability partner” for anything in my life has never really worked for me (kudos to those who find them productive). For me, self-motivation is the only way I’m going to get through this.
But on the other hand, reading through my posts, I see so much growth over the past year. There have been many purge-free weeks (and a few strung together!). Something that was virtually non-existent prior to working with my counselor. I am starting to get a firmer grasp on what sets off my purging episodes, which is helping me work through those situations in a healthy way rather than running to B. The big one – I HAVE HOPE. I know this isn’t going to be a part of my life forever, which is something I didn’t have the hope to see when I first started this process. I thought purging was so ingrained in my daily habits that I couldn’t escape it. My health and my happiness is my number one priority. At the end of the day, I have to be happy with me and the person I’ve become. It doesn’t matter how much I weigh, how many friends I have, or whether or not people approve of my choices. It just. doesn’t. matter.
So. I’m not fully recovered by any means. But I’m a lot further along than I was a year ago, and progress is something to be proud of. It’s something YOU can be proud of. From underneath the rubble, let’s sing the rebel song.